CAN A MALE AND A FEMALE BE BEST FRIENDS?
Barriers in society are being broken daily. More women are becoming CEO's and Firefighters, and more men becoming stay at home dads and RN's. In addition we are also seeing changes in the dynamic of friendships between males and females. Which raises the question, can a male and female be best friends? It seems as though everyone I talk to has a different opinion on the matter and feel strongly about it. Some say that it is completely possible for a male and a female to be best friends and others say that the friendship will always turn into more than just a "friend"ship. Instead of deciding on a simple answer I decided to dig deeper and do some research based on what my peers and professionals said and I concluded some interesting findings.
In my mind I naturally wanted to assume that yes males and females can be best friend but if I said I was sure of that it wouldn't be the truth. The answer seems all about variables. One of those "it just depends" scenarios and that rings true here. Lets look at both sides:
An article on psychologytoday.com stated that it is in fact possible for this to occur but that the friendship faces different obstacles than a same-sex friendship would. Among those challenges were defining the relationship and dealing with doubters. When Becoming friends with the opposite sex things can get confusing quickly especially if the two individuals are attracted to one another. That's why in order to avoid complications in the relationship you define exactly the guidelines of your friendship so that no party ends up confused or expecting more. The hardest part would be dealing with the doubters "Are you really just friends?" is a common question, it also suggests that society is not ready for friendships between men and women. These constant questions often have the affect on the two individuals in the friendship questioning themselves and if they really are just friends based on the ideas being drilled into there heads by peers, which otherwise would not have been their if outside opinions weren't involved.
Studies show the benefits of a having a best friend of the opposite sex for males was having someone to talk to and relate to on a personal level, verses bonding with other males through activities such as sport or organizations. Woman said the friendships are lighter and more fun because men aren't as sensitive to things and they receive the male perspective on things which they can't from female friends. Both sexes said that these friendships are more emotionally rewarding. Kathy Werking, Author of We're just Good Friends said that her work has shown that the number one thing male and female friends do is talk one-on-one.
Although these finds prove to be true their is still some doubt. Some believe that a male and a female referring to each other as best friends is simply hiding behind the title to avoid the complications of a real relationship. Also stating that the majority of the time their counter-parts posses the same traits and qualities they would look for in a spouse. Often these lines become blurred resulting in action. In a study 62% of people admitted to having a platonic friendship that crossed the line and became romantic or sexual. However, the majority of the same percentage of people said the friendship still did not result in a relationship after the line was crossed. BUT those same 94% said that their best friend would make a great relationship partner for them. Interesting.
As you can see it can easily go both ways and really depends on each unique individual relationship between to whether it be platonic or simply hindering something more that is beneath the surface. The only way for that to be decided is between the two individuals involved. Yet, a question is still plaguing me. Is it some type of rule that states a person can only have one title in your life? Why can't your best friend be your significant other simultaneously? And if someone does serve best as your best friend then what is the rush in forcing things to be more than what they are if supposedly you two will be brought together anyway? I certainly hope the person I marry someday is someone who knows me best.
In light of this post I must admit my best friend is indeed a male and I agree with the majority of the things stated above on both sides of the argument. I don't know about in general all I know is that my relationship with my best friend is far to valuable for me to question it continually and I would rather just enjoy it because good friends of either sex are hard to come by and the pros far outway the cons for me.With that said I leave you with this quote from Dave Mathews Band a friend of mine told me long ago. "A girl and a guy can be friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other, maybe TEMPORARILY, maybe at THE WRONG TIME, maybe TOO LATE, or maybe FOREVER." Just something to think about.
To go more in depth check this out:
www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200109/can-men-and-women-be-friends/
I want to know your opinions comment below!
In my mind I naturally wanted to assume that yes males and females can be best friend but if I said I was sure of that it wouldn't be the truth. The answer seems all about variables. One of those "it just depends" scenarios and that rings true here. Lets look at both sides:
An article on psychologytoday.com stated that it is in fact possible for this to occur but that the friendship faces different obstacles than a same-sex friendship would. Among those challenges were defining the relationship and dealing with doubters. When Becoming friends with the opposite sex things can get confusing quickly especially if the two individuals are attracted to one another. That's why in order to avoid complications in the relationship you define exactly the guidelines of your friendship so that no party ends up confused or expecting more. The hardest part would be dealing with the doubters "Are you really just friends?" is a common question, it also suggests that society is not ready for friendships between men and women. These constant questions often have the affect on the two individuals in the friendship questioning themselves and if they really are just friends based on the ideas being drilled into there heads by peers, which otherwise would not have been their if outside opinions weren't involved.
Studies show the benefits of a having a best friend of the opposite sex for males was having someone to talk to and relate to on a personal level, verses bonding with other males through activities such as sport or organizations. Woman said the friendships are lighter and more fun because men aren't as sensitive to things and they receive the male perspective on things which they can't from female friends. Both sexes said that these friendships are more emotionally rewarding. Kathy Werking, Author of We're just Good Friends said that her work has shown that the number one thing male and female friends do is talk one-on-one.
Although these finds prove to be true their is still some doubt. Some believe that a male and a female referring to each other as best friends is simply hiding behind the title to avoid the complications of a real relationship. Also stating that the majority of the time their counter-parts posses the same traits and qualities they would look for in a spouse. Often these lines become blurred resulting in action. In a study 62% of people admitted to having a platonic friendship that crossed the line and became romantic or sexual. However, the majority of the same percentage of people said the friendship still did not result in a relationship after the line was crossed. BUT those same 94% said that their best friend would make a great relationship partner for them. Interesting.
As you can see it can easily go both ways and really depends on each unique individual relationship between to whether it be platonic or simply hindering something more that is beneath the surface. The only way for that to be decided is between the two individuals involved. Yet, a question is still plaguing me. Is it some type of rule that states a person can only have one title in your life? Why can't your best friend be your significant other simultaneously? And if someone does serve best as your best friend then what is the rush in forcing things to be more than what they are if supposedly you two will be brought together anyway? I certainly hope the person I marry someday is someone who knows me best.
In light of this post I must admit my best friend is indeed a male and I agree with the majority of the things stated above on both sides of the argument. I don't know about in general all I know is that my relationship with my best friend is far to valuable for me to question it continually and I would rather just enjoy it because good friends of either sex are hard to come by and the pros far outway the cons for me.With that said I leave you with this quote from Dave Mathews Band a friend of mine told me long ago. "A girl and a guy can be friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other, maybe TEMPORARILY, maybe at THE WRONG TIME, maybe TOO LATE, or maybe FOREVER." Just something to think about.
To go more in depth check this out:
www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200109/can-men-and-women-be-friends/
I want to know your opinions comment below!
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